so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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