I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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