Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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