what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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