That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I think my moral compass just broke
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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