If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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