The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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