Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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