I must be too annoying 4 u.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
