i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It all started with a game of naked twister.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize