marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
