Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
