dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
