At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
