A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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