I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
