you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
