I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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