I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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