I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
