just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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