Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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