Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
