next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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