oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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