Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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