Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
