Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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