I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
