Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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