Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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