She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's