FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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