Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say