Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize