Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.