Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
