Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He shit in the fireplace
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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