he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
