Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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