I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
