Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize
