oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
