I hate all girls vehemently.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
