Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
