drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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