Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
