Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize