Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
