at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
