Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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