I just saw a hot homeless man
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
