Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
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Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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