Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
