And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
