she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
