**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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