there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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