After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
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He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
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Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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