I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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