You're my little dorito
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
