It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
