Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
