Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
