I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems