Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.