how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?