I'm going to jail i love you
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm drunk and he's still weird.