At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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