I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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